Book reviews: Pregnancy & Parenting

When I found out I was pregnant, I went straight into research mode. I was in the US at the time, so I went to a bookstore — thrilled that I had so many English options at my fingertips — and spent about 45 minutes in the “pregnancy” section deciding which books to buy. (The first books I bought were Expecting Better, What to Expect When You’re Expecting –both of which I’ve written about below– and Dude! You’re Gonna Be a Dad! for my husband, of course 😛 )

I was also incredibly anxious for about the first half of my pregnancy, and I found that the more I read, the more I could relax. Knowledge is power, right? So below are all of the books I read about pregnancy, birth, and parenting, and whether I would recommend them to other expecting parents!

I’ve separated the books into Pregnancy, Birth, and Parenting categories below — but many of them cover more than one! If that’s the case, I put it in the category that that I felt was most applicable.

Pregnancy

Expecting Better by Emily Oster

This is the first book I read when I found out I was pregnant, and I am SO GLAD that I read it early on. Emily Oster is an economist, so while she is not a medical expert, she is an expert on analyzing data. She explains that she wrote this book because when she was pregnant, she was frustrated with the lack of hard data provided to her with medical recommendations during pregnancy. In Expecting Better, she breaks down the actual data from the most reputable studies related to every possible issue during pregnancy. For example, how risky is it to eat raw sushi or have the occasional glass of wine while pregnant? What are the pros and cons of the different types of prenatal genetic testing? When am I actually most likely to go into labor? What factors should I consider for my birth plan/preferences? But even though the book is all about data, Oster is a great writer and I found it incredibly easy to read (not dry or boring at all). I devoured this book cover-to-cover, and then frequently referenced it afterwards. I also made my husband read this one!

My verdict: I would ABSOLUTELY recommend this to anyone who is pregnant (and your partners!). Honestly, if you read ONE book during pregnancy, I would say it should be this one.

What to Expect When You’re Expecting by Heidi Murkoff

This book is often called the “pregnancy bible” for a reason – it’s probably the most thorough guide to pregnancy on the market. I didn’t read this one cover-to-cover, but I did like having it as a resource whenever I had specific questions (thank goodness for the index). I also really liked the month-by-month breakdowns of the physical symptoms that pregnant women might experience, and the week-by-week descriptions of how the baby was growing. It’s worth noting that there is a free What To Expect app, and it seems like most of the information in the book is also available there — so you might not need to buy the book to benefit from all the info that it can offer. I did find the writing style in this book to be a little annoying (it’s kind of… cutesy), but overall I did find it helpful!

My verdict: If you like to have *all the info* at hand (and maybe get overwhelmed or anxious if you have to Google symptoms) then this is a good go-to reference guide. But it’s not a must-read for me since it’s quite long–more info than you probably need–you can probably get most of the information from pregnancy apps and other books.

Birth

The Positive Birth Book by Milli Hill

Like many women, I had mostly heard horror stories about giving birth before I got pregnant. It’s scary, it’s painful, the doctors don’t listen to you, complications abound, etc. etc. etc. There is good reason for all of those types birth stories, because labor and delivery is nothing short of traumatic for a lot of women. But in this book, Milli Hill aims to convince the reader that it doesn’t have to be that way. And, although while I’m writing this I haven’t actually given birth yet, I have to say that she did convince me. I read this book during my second trimester when I was having serious anxiety about it, and this book truly made me feel so much more prepared and relaxed. I haven’t felt nervous since I read it. There is a lot of practical information, like describing what each stage of labor feels like and the various choices you should think about when it comes to birth preferences. I will say there was a clear bias towards home birth/water birth/unmedicated birth, etc. but there is also plenty of nonjudgemental information about hospital births, including epidurals and C-sections. The only thing I would note about this book is that it is written about the UK medical system, so certain parts may not be relevant to people giving birth in other countries.

My verdict: If you are fearful or anxious about giving birth, please read this book!!! It’s a little woo-woo at times, but overall I found it incredibly informative, and, above all, empowering. This book completely changed my mindset around birth and made me feel so much more confident and optimistic.

Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth by Ina May Gaskin

*Note: This one isn’t available on Saxo, so the link is from Book Depository. They ship from the UK so there might be VAT… I haven’t ordered from them since Brexit so I’m not sure!

Ina May is apparently somewhat of a legend in midwifery, and this book was referenced several times in the Positive Birth Book. So I figured, since I loved that one so much, maybe I should give the OG a read. Unfortunately…. I didn’t love this one as much. The first part of the book is all birth stories. I have enjoyed reading birth stories during pregnancy, but a lot of these were… I don’t know, they made me uncomfortable?! Many of them were from the 1970s and 80s, so even though labor and birth itself doesn’t change much, there were still aspects of the stories that felt very dated and unrelatable to me. They also used a lot of terminology and descriptions that just gave me the icks, personally. Some of the stories were nice to read, but others I just did not enjoy at all.

The second half of the book has the more practical information about labor and giving birth. But after reading the Positive Birth Book, I don’t think I really took away anything new or different from this one. Quite a lot of this book seems to be a manifesto about why midwifery is so much better than modern medicine and doctors when it comes to birth and–although I actually am really happy to be receiving midwife-led care– I found that really off-putting.

My verdict: It’s a no for me. Read the Positive Birth Book and skip this one.

Parenting

Cribsheet by Emily Oster

After I read Expecting Better, I knew I needed to read Oster’s follow up book for the early years of parenting, Cribsheet. In it, Oster discusses the research about pretty much every major decision that parents need to make in the first 3 years, from breastfeeding vs. formula, to whether or not to sleep train, to how much screen time is too much? Interestingly, it seemed like most of the research on these hot topics is actually pretty inconclusive. The moral of most chapters (though not all) is pretty much “Do what is right for your family.” Still, I appreciated reading about the studies and data that can help inform the choices we’ll be making in the upcoming months and years. I’m sure this is a book we’ll be referencing often!

My verdict: As with Expecting Better, I feel like Cribsheet made me feel more informed and relaxed about the numerous choices we’ll be making as parents. I would definitely recommend it.

Bringing Up Bebé by Pamela Druckerman

Bringing Up Bebé is part research, part memoir written by an American woman who is raising her kids in Paris. She contrasts the American and French approaches to different aspects of pregnancy, birth, and parenting. Funnily enough, I read this book in college, long before I was pregnant! I found it super interesting then (I did study Elementary Education & Child Studies, after all, so I was especially interested in the parts about early childhood education) and figured it was worth a re-read now that I’m expecting my own little European bebé, albeit not a French one. I still enjoyed the book the second time around, although of course now I was reading with a more critical lens – thinking more about which French approaches I agreed with and which ones I didn’t. There are definitely some similarities between French and Danish parenting, too! (I have also read The Danish Way of Parenting years ago and I’m due to re-read that one, as well…) I think there are some good practical takeaways from this book, like tips for getting a baby to sleep through the night — apparently they do this much earlier in France than the US, on average — and teaching a toddler to eat their veggies. There are also things that I won’t be adopting myself, but were interesting to read about nonetheless.

My verdict: This is an interesting and enjoyable book if you want to learn more about different cultures’ approaches to parenting. There are some good takeaways, but not an essential read.

Latch by Robin Kaplan

Latch is all about breastfeeding, which of course is notoriously difficult for many women. Our midwife gave us a booklet on breastfeeding at our very first appointment, but it was in Danish — and although I probably could understand most of it, I was just kind of overwhelmed at the thought of reading it all, so I decided to go for an English guide instead. Aside from being in English, I appreciated that Latch was short (I read it in a day), straightforward, and included colorful illustrations! The book has sections dedicated to the different phases of breastfeeding, from getting the initial latch after birth up until weaning. I can’t say yet whether the book has actually helped me with nursing since our little one isn’t here yet, but it did make me feel more informed and prepared.

My verdict: I thought it was worth a read. I will definitely be keeping this book handy for easy reference!!

The Wonder Weeks by Xaviera Plas-Plooij

The Wonder Weeks is a guide to babies’ mental development for the first 20 months of life, and oh my goodness, it is fascinating and full of useful, research-based information!! The book is separated into 10 “leaps” of development that babies go through. For each leap, it explains what new skills baby is learning, what kind of behavior to look for to know when the leap is happening, and has a little workbook section where you can document your own baby’s growth. Full disclosure: I haven’t finished reading this book! I’ve read the introduction and up to the first leap, but my plan is to read it in chunks as our baby approaches each leap. But I learned so much just from reading the introduction and information about newborns, and I know this book is going to be a godsend as our little one grows. There is also a Wonder Weeks app, which I’ve already downloaded!

My verdict: Highly, highly recommend this one. I know we’re going to rely on it and I can’t wait to read it in chunks to understand our baby’s world better!

Have you read these books? If you are pregnant or a parent, what books would you recommend??