Tips for making friends in a new country

One of the hardest parts of moving to a new country (or moving anywhere new, really!) is making new friends. It’s easy when you’re a kid, or even in college when everyone is new and trying to meet people. As an adult, it can be a real challenge. This is especially true in Denmark (and, I hear, other nearby countries with similar cultures). This is because many Danes tend to prefer having a small number of very close friendships, rather than tons of more superficial ones. By the time they’re adults, they’ve often made enough of those close friends to last a lifetime and aren’t necessarily “in the market” for more 😛 To be clear, it’s not that Danes are unfriendly, in my experience! It’s just not always easy to break into their social circles. With that in mind, I have found that making friends here was easier than I expected, though I will admit that most of my friends are other expats/immigrants.

Below are the ways I’ve had the most success meeting new people. Occasionally you might even make friends with a local this way 😛

Meetup.com

Meetup is a website that has groups for different interests that, of course, meet up! Soon after I moved here, I joined a group for women in their mid 20s-mid 30s where we met at different restaurant or wine bar every couple of weeks. It was a great way to meet other women, many of whom were also international and new to Denmark (I don’t remember if the group was aimed at that demographic, or if it’s just how it worked out…), and it was fun to try restaurants that I probably wouldn’t have known about otherwise! There are also groups for sports, hobbies, language learning, etc. — pretty much anything you could be interested in, and you are almost guaranteed to have something in common with the other people in the group. And of course, you can join as many groups/go to as many events as you want, and they’re pretty non-committal if you want to stop going.

Bumble BFF

So you’ve probably heard of Bumble as a dating app, but did you know you can also use it to meet friends? On the app, you can toggle between “Bumble Date” and “Bumble BFF.” And if you are in a relationship, you can turn off the dating feature altogether (the app will even show when you turned it off, just case your partner wants that peace of mind!). If you’re using the app for both functions, you can have a separate profile for each. The “BFF” function works in the same way as the dating function: You swipe right or left on profiles, and then you can chat if you match. I used Bumble BFF when I first moved here and went on a handful of “friend dates,” which were all lovely! I’m still good friends with a couple girls that I met from the app 3 years ago.

Social media

I felt SO lucky that I moved to Denmark in the age of social media, because it honestly makes it so much easier to meet people! I met one of my closest friends here after I came across her Instagram, stalked her a little, and then sent her a message saying something along the lines of “I hope this isn’t weird, but I feel like we have a lot in common and we should be friends!” Listen, when you’re new to a country and have NO friends, you have nothing to lose by sliding into a stranger’s DMs (respectfully and with good intent!). Fortunately, she didn’t block me and we ended up clicking right away when we did meet!

Facebook groups (such as expat groups in your area) are also great for meeting people. I see posts all the time of people introducing themselves and asking if anyone wants to grab a drink, and there are almost always several positive responses. I haven’t personally done that, but I have met up with a few people from Facebook groups after a little bit of chatting on FB messenger!

Language classes

If you’re new to a country and need to learn the local language, sign up for language classes right away! If you’re new to a country and already know the local language (ie: if I had moved to the UK instead of Denmark), why not learn another language? Language classes are sure to have other people who are in the same boat as you, everyone is equally awkward and nervous about using their new language skills, and a big part of language practice is having conversations! I personally haven’t kept in touch with anyone from my Danish classes, but I know people who have made good friends this way. And even though I didn’t have any lasting friendships from my classes, I was still happy to have that social interaction 2-3 times a week when I was new to Denmark and didn’t have much else on my social calendar. (If you don’t need to/aren’t interested in learning a language, this could also apply to any kind of class!)

What are your best tips for making friends in a new place?